I'm Failing, and It's Okay
The power of gratitude is at work
I am failing to meet my expectations for my new project, Aging with Gratitude. The initial focus has been connecting with new, local people in the Phoenix area who are willing to sit for a portrait and share their story with me.
My inspiration is to challenge myself artistically and socially, and to produce better photography and writing. So far it’s working, and that’s the good news.
Perhaps I’m not failing as much as not meeting my initial expectations, which has been a pattern in my life. Not sweating the small stuff helps, and this is small stuff in the grand scheme.
I’m grateful for what I’ve learned so far, and for the incredible people I’ve met, including a woman I photographed at 6:30 a.m. today with her two Labrador retrievers, one of them below.
Lessons learned so far
I’ve learned that many people don’t feel comfortable sitting for the project. I share an overview with them, and rarely do they want to proceed. Most often, the aversion comes from discomfort in front of a camera, or in the public eye.
Some people change their mind after the portrait session. That’s another lesson I accept and chalk up to experience.
Why argue with reality?
For example, I photographed a woman in Chandler early in the project. We both loved her portrait. But she didn’t want to follow up with the story I wanted to write — a story of trial and triumph. She had been through hell and back.
The last lesson is that I absolutely love the challenge. It’s not easy to pack the mobile studio light and gear, unload it, set it up, get ready for the shoot, shoot it, wrap up, pack up, and drive home to tackle the edits.
But I love it. It’s the feeling I get while writing this story, sharing the picture above, and becoming a better writer, photographer, and hopefully, human being. Trust me that trusting our feelings, given we are sound of mind and sober, is the way to know the way to go for you; your path, your destiny.
The latter only happens when I trust my inspirations enough to get off my butt and into the world, connecting with other humans — who are more like you and me than different — and getting to know them while practicing my favorite arts: writing and photography.
Not knowing can be uncomfortable
Sometimes I don’t know what I want. That’s universal. I’m in a transition from a past business identity and life to a new one: writer, photographer, visual artist, and grandfather. It’s a challenging transition shedding the business warrior mask for that of a different me.
It’s normal not to know what’s next or what I want specifically. I trust that inspiration — the spirit of my muses, a higher power from within — will show me when it’s time.
That’s trust. My faith is the foundation of it: when I don’t know, I will know in due time. While waiting, I can remain open, aware, curious, and diligent by reading, researching, and taking notes, and waiting because patience is a virtue, after all.
The path to emotional freedom
Curiosity powers my life. Knowing that, I’m okay when I’m not. Trust, wait, feel, and when the time comes, know and go.
It’s emotional freedom acquired through acceptance, gratitude, and humility. These are the same qualities I see in the people I’m meeting, photographing, and writing stories about.
I see similarities, not differences. Wiser people taught me that.
How could I not be grateful for it all, especially the uncomfortable stuff that makes us better humans? I already sit too much in front of a screen. Aware of that, I intend to keep this project going. I trust I’ll meet more people in due time, and that many will be willing to let me take their picture and tell their story of gratitude.
Gratitude works when you let it
Here’s a nugget. When we can be grateful for all we’ve got, and we learn more about who we are versus who we are not, and the masks fall by the wayside, we become more emotionally free.
Life can teach us to become grateful. We all go through our personal trials. We all confront the emotional tsunamis as they hit. So, as we age, we can learn new lessons, and our suffering can change us.
Suffering can lead us to be grateful. Gratitude and other virtues lead the way to emotional freedom. That may be the best of all.
I am grateful for the early positive feedback on Aging with Gratitude, and I encourage you to share my work with your friends and family. Feel free to copy and paste the link to the overview for Aging with Gratitude.
https://forms.gle/4EqoHnP17XQPHT9i6
Thanks for being along for the ride.
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